... Because there are no words for that.
There are however, 140 characters for God_Damn_Batman:
Because nothing is hipper than hating on hipsters:
"I expect trend pieces to be bad. I expect them to be superficial, hacky, tendentious, filled with irritating neologisms, short-sighted, over-determined, thesis-driven and not truly "reported," and to be built around quotes from the author's own friends. This is journalism."